twilight stars

I feel TRANSPARENT

2006-02-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

I had been too busy to post anyting the last few weeks. Not to mention i was too lazy too...but i guess part of the reason was that i was having a great time with my classmates.haha...but smting really bad (at least to me) happened today and i fell that i just had to blog it no matter how tired i am. Guess this is why they say that it is harder to forget unhappy things andeasier to remember happy stuff..hehe...

Today begin like just any other day, fresh, bright and cheery. Little did i know what was goin to happen later on in the day. Well, i sensed there was something goin on within our click therefore i wanted to find out what it was. However, they were all just brushing me aside, telling me that it has nothing to do with me, but it has something to do with the people in the click, i know cos they would not hv been so serious. You may feel that it is nothing to be sensitive about here, the thing at hand does'nt have any thing to do with u anyway. Yeah i agree with that totally, but i just want to add that if i didn't care about them in the first place, i wouldn't bothered pestering. Another thing was that when one of us asked her she told her without any hesitation but when i asked her, she told me that she didn't want to repeat the whole thing again. i accepted that. And it was nto the thing that broke me. It was what happened next. When another girl asked her, she told her once again without hesitation.

Maybe u think tat i was just being petty, but that is certainly not the case. I m not angry cos of wat she did. i can totally respect her desicion not to tell me. to begin with i was not even angry, more of sad and disappointed.It is just the thing that she like told everyone except me. I mean it was supposed to be the eight of us anyway.I was already sad cos of them constanly not wanting to tell me things. But i guess this was the straw that broke everything. I was so sad i almost cried, but i was trying very hard to control myself. The thing that added fuel to the fire was that none of them actually noticed and carried on with their usual laughter, just that i was missing but none of them cared. It was only until one of the guys said something about it that they felt that somethiing was amiss, but they didn't really cared about me at this point of time. I felt so transparent then, as though i m a transparent film and cannot be seen at all. Not that i m attention seeking or anything (and i was really controlling my tears then, i even disappeared to the toilet for quite a while. but who would notice?), it is just that i REALLY felt that my existence was void then.

When i was in the toilet i can't help but think to myself, would i have had a better time if i had just stayed in DHS. But the thing is that, on the other hand, i Am enjoying my time here too. It iis probalbly cos i m now so shattered, saddened and torn by what happened today. maybe it is too early , but it just makes me think, where does m true friend lie?

2006-01-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

Two weeks had passed since school started. It had been a totally new start for me, in a new school, with a new class. Although formal lessons are not to start until next week, i m already becoming busier. I had been too busy, as well as lazy, to update my blog. hahas.

My experience in my new class had so far been a fun one, made many new friends. My class, 06v12, have become very much more bonded since school has started. We have done many activities together, played many games, and not ot mention, we have already started having secrets...and rumours....haha.

My civics tutor is also very fun and nice. Probably the best one in the whole level. And guess what.. According to him my class is the nosiest among the whole level. hahas. Is that good or bad? I m not sure, but one thing is for sure, this will be the second time i m in the noisest class.

So cheers to 06v12 and i hope we would continue getting closer to each other.

2006-01-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day that i am officially a VJC student...hahas this is so funny...more of complicated actually. A going on fifteen student going to a JC.hahas..

Anyway, this morning was the first time in a very long time that i actually took public transport to school myself (i used to take school bus to dunman every morning), especially so early in the morning. As this was the first time i was actually quite exilerated. Well, anyway when i reached the bus stop, there was this girl in a DHS uniform. Firstly, i was like " wat is she doing here at 6.50 when i take abt something like 30-45 mns to get to school from here". The next thing was that she was looking at me so snobishly, as though it was like i was admiring her.. to be able to get into DHS, i was wondering whether she actually knew i was her senior.

Then i saw Claire on the bus.haha. So Fun!!! I wonder if we would be taking the same bus every morning. hymp....I went straight up to my classroom after i reached school. It is a little hard to believe, but today, my class was already so noisy in the morning, as though we probaly know each other for like at least a week or two. But the Best part is that we have onli been together for like two days! One more thing we had our FIRST class outing today! It was so successful. almost the whole class turned up. It was like 21 out of 29 of us turned up. So cool rite?? For a class that is only three days old.

We had such a good time today. At least i had a very good time in Vahalla today. I think my sub-group viking is ssooo fun. The j 1s that we had was just such fun people. I Think with such fun people in my orientation group, this orientation is going to be a fun one!!

But despite all the fun and stuff, i can't deny that I MISS DHS. *sobs Don't worry dunman, i will be back. But, according to the schedule, i probably am able to get back only next monday..

IP Orientation

2005-12-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday & today we had our IP orientation. It was quite fun and we got to know our the whole of our class better. We were separated into grps (even in our own class) in these grps we combined with the other grps from other classes, i think that by doing sao we actually got to know people from other classes. So i guess from here we would problably not only be bonded with those from our class but also with those from other classes as well. This would definitely contribute to a stronger school spirit. WOW!!! it certainly sounds & feels fun to finally be in a school with lotsa school spirit!! hahas...

During this two days, the games were mainlt targeted top breaking the ice. Therefore, we played many games during the course of these two days. But, there definitely were some personalities showing out. There is a certain girl in my class who doesn't want to mix with anyone of us. then today during there debrief, she was actually complaining that "the games did not actually break the ice". I was like WHAT ON EARTH WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT?? It was so obvious that she is that one that doesn't want to mix with us!!! Haiz~ why do we have such ppl in our class?

We played three main games on today itself. There was dodge ball, water transportation, and some game that has got to do with candles. In this game, the objective was to burn the other team's twine. You can blow the other person's candle out if u want to. It was quite stupid but there was this very irritating guy, i think he is from 06v13. You see, our team came out with this strategy that we held hands to protect the strings while the rest went to burn the other team's twine. Then when the game started, that guy came and tried to attack our group's strings, but the way we protected our stings made it quite impossibe to get to the twine itself. Guess what he did next.. It was the most ungentlemanly thing i ever seen sao far!! Well, first he tried blowing out our candles, mind you the people left there were ALL girls!! then he tried to poke through the holes between the girls to get to our twine!! Not forgettin that the candle had a flame on it. & we were all girls !!! Which guy would actually treat girls like that?? He probably needs some lesson on how to treat girls...Althea!!! Where arrreee you???

2005-12-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today, we had a student council(sc) outing. It is coincidentally my sc outing as a dunman high student. There was definitely joy as we spent the afternoon together. However, i can't help but feel sad as this is probably the last time i wld ever go out with them in this statues, in the rest of my life......

We went to watch Chronicles of Narnia. Soo cool right???? A supposedly very strict & disiplined org doing something like that. So hey people, dunman SCs are fun ppl k...haha....

Will be going to my orientation in VJ on thurs, there is definitely some joy and sadness in it.Haiz~ But the future is never predictable right? Maybe, today i might think that it is totally so sad to be leaving DHS, but tmr, i may be totally luv my new sch...& for all you noe i might also be regreting my way in vj (hopefully not or my life wld be hell). Anyway, whatever happens, dunman wld definitely occupy a place in my heart.

And to all my friends....I definitely will miss all of you. Although i might not be able to visit you guys so ofthen anymore (cos if i go back too ofthen i might just turn into an irritant. But dun worry,i will be there at evert impt event) , i hope i will not be forgotten. And if u ever need any help, remember, i will be just a phone call away...

Just So Sad

2005-12-22T22:09:00.001+08:00

This is so saddening. Tmr is the sec one registration & i m not called to help. Haiz~ I can't help but wonder what the reason is. Is it just because i m leavin therefore i m neglected? But this would totally be impossible. I wonder if it is just simply cos there are too many people involved & my help is not needed or is it because they didn't want to get us involved cos they think that we have alrd left the school? But as a matter of fact i m still in dunman until the 31st of dec!!! Moreover, as the sayin goes, once a dunmanian always a dunmanian, so technically, i shld and will be one until the day i fall into the eternal slumber.

This is so saddening. In less than a fortnight's time i will not be a student in dunman anymore. I would not be able to help in the teeny weeny things in dunman any more. i would not be able to do mornin duty, attend CO's da zu (not that i like any of the above two but u know...), i would not be able to plan any further events for the school anymore, neither would i be able to hunt for the weirdest places in sch to debate anymore. Haiz~ i guess it is almost dunman no more for me. BUT as i have said, i will still be a dunmanian at heart.

This is so saddening. Because i know that when i leave dunman, i would not only be leaving behind all the activities that i have done for the past 2 years. I will also be leaving the place of many friends, many friendships forged & most of all, many many many fond memories. You may say that the friendships can last so long as we do not forget each other, i totally agree with that, so to all my friend, we must not let fate run out on us and continue this relationship so pure & innocent. However, the thing that i will miss the most is the memoriea that only the campus alone can bring to me & u remind me of.

This is so saddening. But i must look on the bright side. As my mum as said the time has come for me to part with the school, & i must learn to move on. However is moving on all that easy? I am sure this is one of the things easier said than done. But whatever it is i MUST continue walking this journey that has been set for me. Anyway, in my opinion, Life is like a book, as one chapter ends, another one begins, it will come to an end one day, this is where the story ends...

6/1'03 gathering

2005-12-17T22:50:00.000+08:00

tis happened like 3 days
ago....but since tis is my first time bloggin & the whole page is full of
fking chinese- that i dun exactly understand, & nothing REALLY interesting
hapened today.. tis shld do.....here goes.....

I was late for the gathering cos i
had a piano lesson, bt i was definitely exited to go for the gatherin. So after
my lesson, i went to my friend's hse where the gatherin was supposed to
be.
But b4 i actually reached, i gave her a
call (i tot was onli for the sake of good manners). I expected a noisy
background but it turned out to be exceptionally quiet. I felt something was
amiss so i didn't probe. When i reached the place, it was still very quiet, so i
tot they muz all be upstairs. However, when i finally saw my friend, she told me
that almost every1 had stood us up did not turn up...especially the guys. I tot
to myself wat a bunch of irresponsible fools.

It turned out that onli someting
like 5 of us turned up...& guess wat...the gift exchange was done with the
presents unwrapped....we virtaully ripped the presents apart b4 exchanging!!!! I
tot to myself if that was wat was supposed to happen.

I guess the whole thing
was quite a flop. right down to the present exchange..the onli thing that
actually met the point of a gatherin is that everyone there got more bonded aft
it...& we actually managed to tok 4 hours &
hours....hahas